In self defence sometimes the only way we can point out learning points is to learn from other’s mistakes. This can be through news articles or through cctv, looking at awareness issues, self respect and belief or technical learning points.
There is a line of thinking that any critique of a victims actions is victim blaming. This is mentioned in several psychology books, it’s a very deep subject and touches on a lot more than just being critical of a persons actions. Some victim blaming thoughts even suggest it was the victims fault because of the dress they wore, or it was because they were drunk they were raped etc. This isn’t what I’m getting at.
My own quote on this is:
“It’s never your fault if you become a victim. However it is your responsibility to minimise the risk.”
As someone who grew up in a rough area, was bullied by gangs as a child, has a previous military career, a former security operative, now a police officer and has studied violence for self defence for almost my whole life.I feel that I have the experience to state why this quote is the reality of the world.
There are people out there that scorn at such personal safety advice as don’t get too drunk, avoid that dark park at night. Some want to bury their heads in the sand, believe the world is full of rainbows and that people are inherently good. I believe the majority of people are good as long as they are able to survive and are content with what they have. There are others who need drugs & alcohol which changes their inhibitions. Some need the money to source these pleasures at any cost, some are caught up in gang violence and some have dark sexual pleasures and there are those who literally enjoy violence.
These people are predators, and they exist and will exploit any weaknesses they can. They will also generally self justify their behaviour in some way.
So what is the answer in dealing with this type of threat?
There has been alot of talk about education of the perpetrators. This will help, but is a fantasy to think it will solve the problem. The scope of criminality is just too wide to head off every perpetrator or their reasons for doing what they do.
The answer is to accept the threat exists and input measures yourself to mitigate the risk.
Why do we lock our doors at night? Why do we install cctv or security lights at our home? It’s to target harden your property. And this must also be done on an individual level which is often neglected.
First and fundamentally is awareness as all self defence trainers will tell you. You must be aware of the type of threats, their preferred MO and how you can spot the threats.
There are two examples from complete strangers that had viewed me as a potential threat, both took actions to avoid the danger (despite their being none) and both left a smile on my face, because I knew these were people that were aware and prepared to take responsibility.
First was when I was staying in a hotel on a combatives training weekend. I was making my way back into the hotel when an older lady was ahead of me using her card to open the electronic security door. Being a nice person, she held the door open for me.
Through sheer coincidence her room was on the same corridor as mine and it now became painfully evident that the woman was concerned of my presence as I inadvertently followed her up a flight of stairs and around two corners onto our corridor. I could sense a penny drop as she realised that she didn’t actually know if I was staying in the hotel. Had she just let in a predator into the building who was now following her? I kept some distance back as I didn’t want to alarm the woman. Her room was before mine and this was where she took action. She stopped, put her back to the wall, smiled at me and allowed me to walk passed before entering her room. She had just taken responsibility for her own safety by accepting I was an unknown threat and that she needed to face it before entering her room. Not doing so could give the predator access and concealment for whatever act it maybe planning. I carried walking to my room with a smile on my face, mainly because I felt a bit awkward about making someone potentially fearful, but happy that she wasn’t ignorant to the situation and took action.
The second story was when I was driving back home to my house. A 10-13 year old boy was walking on the pavement on his own in the direction I was travelling. I was pulling up to park but was making my way along the pavement up to the last parked car. Similar to before, I was now inadvertently curb crawling next to the boy who was visibly very aware I was there. He increased his pace to almost a jog and made direct eye contact with me. I knew in no uncertain terms that I had been ‘spotted’. He kept eye contact with me even though I had parked until he turned the corner and was gone from view.
This again left a smile on my face. As I knew that young lad was aware and he, just like the woman had taken responsibility for his safety.
In both these cases there was obviously no threat. But imagine if there was and no action was taken? We do not gain anything from keeping our heads in the sand and hoping for the best. Some predators can be deterred purely from a potential victim being aware of the predators presence. This is how awareness and positive action can make all the difference.
For those predators not deterred by this and are more committed, then you need the combatives skills to deal with a physical threat. Something that should not be underestimated.
The takeaway from what I am saying is just be smart and be aware. It doesn’t make you paranoid, it is not an infringement on your human rights to avoid that dark park and it doesn’t make you weak.
Every situation is different. Some threats can simply be avoided by being aware, some by avoiding a particular route home or area, it maybe that it is a physical attack and combatives skills will be needed. There are some threats that are controlling in nature and can only start to be dealt with by picking up that phone and telling a friend, calling the police or a charity. In all cases, the mitigation starts with the victims acceptance of the threat and their ability to take responsibility and say no.
There are major studies that confirm this. Below is an article that takes abstracts from a Canadian study:
Here a full research paper from Jocelyn Hollander at the university of Oregan:
For my awareness and personal safety course visit the link below. It covers awareness and personal safety measures out in public on trains, buses to target hardening your home and much more. Yes cctv study is included of real events:
https://www.integratedcombatives.com/courses/personal-safety-awareness
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